Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Emotional Issues

Every few months or so, I seem to have some sort of emotional breakdown. It generally builds up over time and then I'm left trying to figure out what the hell just hit me. Today, for instance, is one of those days. My husband is a hunter. I hunt occasionally, when I can get out, or when I'm not pregnant (which is never going to be the case, or so it seems).

The reason I mention my husband's love for hunting, is that he goes out nearly every day. Sometimes only for an hour, sometimes a few hours. And occasionally, most of the day. I generally don't have a problem with his hobby, given the fact that it fills our freezer up with fresh meat (meat that I don't have to pay an arm and leg for).

However, I envy his time alone, doing what he enjoys. I often wish I could get out of the house by myself and do whatever it is that I want, but that is not the case. If I want to go do something, I have to take the baby with me. My only alone time is spent grocery shopping, or running errands. Now, don't get me wrong, I love our little girl. She is a huge bright spot in my life, along with her sister. But, I need some me time.

My husband, on the other hand, doesn't see it that way. I wish he understood. I really do. On days like today when I wish I could just get out of the house and go to the library, call up a friend and go out for a bit. Or even just go to a park and watch the birds. Something that doesn't involve taking care of anyone else.

The other thing  that seems to get to me, is the fact that we don't do much. We are at home all the time. Granted, we live in a very small town, and don't have much spending money. It still gets to me though. I'm even cool with having a trip to Wal-Mart as quality time. Trouble is, when I suggest it, I hear "Take the baby with you, I was gonna go huntin'." Sigh.

It's times like these that I wish we lived closer to our families. I know, on any given day, there would be someone willing to take a ride with me, or just come and hang out. Lack of visitors is another one of my ongoing issues...I'll spare you the complaints, so no worries.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Life keeps getting in the way...

When I started this blog, I thought I would have so much more time to add to it. I often need to get something off my chest, or just talk to someone about something, so this blog seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so. So far, I am failing miserably. In my defense, though, it's been incredibly busy since my last post.

I decided to go back to school to get my license in Practical Nursing. Classes have been super fun so far and I'm looking forward to being able to apply to the nursing program next Spring. Why next Spring, you ask? Well, technically, after I finish this quarter and the next one, I would be eligible to apply to the program this coming Fall. 

However, since my last post, my husband and I have been successful in creating another baby. So, since the baby is due in Aug. (and my school is switching to semesters instead of quarters in the Fall) I'll need to take a few months off and raise a yougin'. That means the next opportunity to apply for the program would be in the Spring.

Am I excited about the 'bun in the oven'? Oh yes, very much so. Nervous? YOU BET. Emily will be 10 months old this month and I'm still getting used to having a baby in the house. And soon there will be two of them!! Naturally, we'd like to have a boy. But, considering all the problems we had with Emily's pregnancy, I'll be pleased either way, just as long as we're both healthy and make it through ok.

On top of school and the new baby coming, we've been looking for a house to buy. What a pain! Fortunately, we both want the same type of house, so it's just a matter of finding it. We've found a few like it, but they're so far away from where we currently live. That also means they're nowhere close to the only friend I have in this town. I'll have to start all over again. Ugh.

I'm hoping to be able to update this a bit more often than I have been. But, forgive me if life gets in the way again. It tends to happen a lot around here.