We might be a little bit crazy...

Our youngest daughter was born less than seven months ago. The pregnancy was a hard one. I went to the emergency room three times during the first trimester, due to heavy bleeding. All they could tell me was that my uterus was the source of the blood. There was no explanation as to what was happening and why.

Less than halfway through the pregnancy, I was placed on the "high risk" list. I had to become more aware of everything I was doing, eating and so on. Ultrasounds were done at every visit by this point.

When test results came back positive for Trisomy 18 (Edward's syndrome), we made a trip to Augusta, GA to see a Perinatal specialist and have an amniocentesis done. After a mind numbing week of waiting, the results came back crystal clear: our baby was perfectly fine.

Labor was mostly uneventful, until a second does of Stadol caused the baby's heart rate to drastically spike and then drop. During delivery, it was discovered that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around her neck. Twice.

Despite all of the crazy things we've been through, we're ready to do it again. (I think)

We might be a little bit crazy, but we are officially trying for another baby. We have decided that now is a much better time to do it, rather than waiting until I am finished with school. Not to mention, with all of the problems we had before, we want to do it before it's too late.

So, here's to hoping that we're not getting into anything too far over our heads. Wish us lock and think BLUE thoughts!

It doesn't hurt anymore

Seven years ago (today), I had a D&C to remove the baby boy I'd lost. The pregnancy had come as a major surprise, but was amazing, nonetheless. I was around 15 weeks pregnant and had started spotting around lunch time. I called my doc and was told to take it easy for a day or two and if things changed, to give him another call.

By that night, the bleeding was much worse. A second call to my doc resulted in a trip to the Emergency Room. As I waited for the ER doc to come back into the room to tell me what was happening, I stared at the clock. It seemed like hours before he finally walked through the door. The look on his face told me it was bad news. He explained to me that I was having a miscarriage. Not that I had had one, but was having one. It was not yet completed. I begged him to do something to stop it, to make things better. According to him, there was nothing to be done and it would be a few hours before it would finally be complete.

He spent the next several minutes reassuring me that this was not my fault, that things like this happen all the time and I should understand that my body had a way of knowing that it was not ready to go through birth again. I went home that night and cried for hours. Naturally, I did not sleep a bit. I was losing my baby. He wasn't gone yet, but as I lay in bed, he was dying. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it.

Two days later, I walked back into the ER for the D&C that had been scheduled during my conversation with the ER doc. My mother was with me as I checked in and stayed with me until they took me to the Operating Room. The procedure, I am told, went just as expected. Recovery would be minimal, a day in bed, then light duty the next day.

As I lay in the bed, just after surgery, I felt empty. He was gone. They had taken him from me. For a moment, I thought I heard someone else in the room with me. It sounded like someone told me "He's ok now, you don't have to worry". I looked around, but never saw anyone. I closed my eyes and cried.

Since then, this day has been a painful one for me. Until this year, that is. Today, I feel no pain. As I watch my two little girls laughing and playing together, I realize that I have something a lot of people wish they had. I now know, that I wasn't ready for another baby seven years ago.

So even though I remember the pain losing Joshua caused, it doesn't hurt anymore.

Product Review- Klever Koncept

I'm not sure I'll do this too often, but I had the opportunity to review a new product, so I jumped on it. Here are my thoughts. You can let me know in the comments if this makes me too much of a sell-out or not :-)

The other day, while I was catching up on my outdoorsy type news on a hunting site I post in regularly, I was contacted by another one of the forum members. He designed a handy new product and wanted to know if I'd be interested in trying it out. I asked him for some more info and he told me it's a new design on an old, commonly used product. Seeing as how I'm not your average girl (I hunt, fish and do all sorts of not very girly things) I decided to help him out.

The product is called Klever Koncept, and it's a safer version of a box cutter. He offered to send me one, free of charge, in exchange for spreading the word. If I liked it, of course.

I received the Klever Koncept in the mail this afternoon, and have already used it a few times. It's a very handy tool, indeed. Normally, I have my pocket knife on me at all times, but just to make sure I wouldn't reach for it out of habit, I stuck it in my purse. I want to make sure this little tool can do all it claims to be able to do. So far, it does.

It's pretty light, so you don't have to worry about balancing an awkward amount of weight in your hand while using a sharp blade. There are safety edges on the blades as well, to help protect your fingers (and anything else that could end up in the blade's way!) True story: many years ago, while slicing open some moving boxes, I ran a box cutter through some tape (going towards my leg instead of away from it) and wouldn't you know it, the darn thing slid right off the edge of the box and right into my thigh! Man that hurt. It also happens, that I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans...

They're very inexpensive and so far, a great tool to have on hand. You can check them out here. Thanks guys, for sending me this neat Klever Koncept! Now I don't have to worry about ruining any more jeans, or you know, cutting myself!

Recovery

On Tuesday, Sept. 28th, I had surgery on my ear. This is what my head looked like after the surgery. Fortunately, they took the bandages off the day after. It was a rough night.

The technical term for the procedure is Tympanoplasty with Mastoidectomy. What does that mean, you ask? They replaced my eardrum (tympanoplasty) and removed a small cyst from my ear canal (mastoidectomy). The end result is supposed to be amazing. I say 'supposed to be' because we are still a while away from the actual result. It's going to take a few weeks for everything to completely heal up. And at least 2 months before I regain all the feeling in my ear.

The surgeon, according to my husband, seemed a bit surprised when he actually got into my ear. He had noticed the scar tissue from the previous surgery (did I tell you that I've had this done before? I have. It didn't work.) on prior visits to his office, but did not realize there was so much of it. Because of this, he had to remove a lot more tissue than planned, but it was all taken care of.

The doctor is an expert at what he does. He's won awards and patients fly in from all over the country to see him. He's good. He's so good, that they invite him to speak and teach at conferences all over the country as well. Because of this, every patient ends up being "research". He takes pictures of the entire procedure, and makes sure you have copies when everything is said and done. Yep, I have copies of the bloody mess inside of my ear. Yuck. Before you decide not to finish reading, I won't be posting them. They're yucky.

So far, the week after the surgery has been a painful one. I expected as much. What I didn't expect, though, was for the antibiotics to make me so dizzy and sick. After calling the doc, I was assured that it was normal, he prescribed some pretty heavy medicines to make sure we don't run into any infections. At least I have some pretty strong painkillers to help me deal with the pain, I would be a complete mess without them.

I have already noticed an increase in my hearing on that side. It's amazing. Annoying too. I'm not used to everything being so loud. I hope that changes soon. By the end of the night, I'm going on noise overload and want to cry.

Also, I start school tonight. I really want to wear my hair down to cover my freaky looking ear, but I hate when it hangs down in my face. So I suppose I'll just point it out and explain the situation real quick so everyone can have their stares and be done with it. It'll make for a less awkward few hours in class.

Wish me luck!