Surgery, in itself, tends to make me more uptight than it used to. I have children to look after now. What if something happens during the procedure? Am I going to be able to take care of them? Am I going to be around to take care of them? All of this flashes through my brain every second of every day leading up to the surgery.
My husband, is constantly trying to get me to "chill out" about the whole thing, but it's hard. I have dealt with so much pain and general crap associated with having a hole in my eardrum, that I'm almost used to it. And, in a way, I might be willing to deal with it if it means not having to have parts of my head cut open. That sounds kinda silly, but that's how terrified I am.
The recovery process, according to the doc, is around 4 days. Much shorter than my previous encounter with this type of surgery. I was laid out for close to a month then. I can deal with a few days. I sure hope Rob can. I won't be able to do much more than look pitiful and moan about how I wish I had never agreed to the whole thing, so he'll be in charge of raisin' the babies during that time. It should be interesting, to say the least.
The one thing that has me super excited about this procedure, as well as the expected outcome, is the fact that one day- I might finally be able to see things like this:
I think I just might be a little more willing to go through with it.
