Dear Mr. & Mrs. Allen (aka: the old people two houses down)

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Allen,

First, I would like to say that your fireworks display last night was beautiful. Absolutely stunning. That being said, lets move on to the real issue.

I know we live out in the middle of nowhere, and I am aware that it is, indeed, the 4th of July (America! Hooray!). But it would have been most kind of you to give us some sort of notice before setting off such an amazing display at midnight. When I heard the first boom, I assumed- as I'm sure most of the people in our usually quiet neighborhood did, that it was a single, celebratory spark to announce the anniversary of our independence.

Little did I know, that it would continue on until around 1:30 am. Had I been aware that this event was to occur, I wouldn't have tucked my sweet little 3 month old daughter into bed. I would also have let the dog come into the house so that he would not, in a frenzy of sheer terror, break the cable that keeps him safely put in our yard and end up trying to scratch our front door open. You see, that poor dog (in said frenzy) had no idea that the great terror in the sky was harmless. To him, it was some big, giant, noisy monster, trying to kill him.

I would also like to bring attention to the other dog that was already in the house and was now barking like a wild banshee. She, being the good little guard dog she is, was alerting us to the demons that were attempting to take down Earth. Those poor dogs...

It wasn't a total drag, however...I managed to see a shooting star in between colorful showers of ash and silently made a wish. I wished for you and your guests to grow tired and go to bed. You did, after another 30 minute round of blasts.

Thank you so much, again, for keeping us up all night. Tonight, we will be ready for the noise. And, perhaps, we will get to enjoy the show without being so aggravated.

Sincerely,

Cortney B